Many of these statements seem like pretty obvious, “Don’t ever say that” phrases to me (and hopefully also to all of you!) But truly, some of them are a little surprising and rooted in some very fresh research. I realize a lot of old-school folks really would love to adhere to how things once were done, thinking things have gone in the wrong direction, but you really can’t argue with sound research telling you exactly what will produce the desired result and what definitely will not.
We know now that corporal punishment of any kind, even spanking DOES NOT WORK. I’m sorry, I really don’t care what your experience was and how you feel about parenting, the research is pretty solid here: Spanking only teaches the child that force is what produces a desired outcome, and that physical dominance by a parent is acceptable communication. Which it is not. Even when it is difficult there are better ways of handling situations that require discipline. Hitting simply does not work. But I digress.
This article is about what you should and shouldn’t say and some of these seem benign enough, but may backfire. Like the statement above, “Eat your peas, they’re good for you.” Basically, a child hears, “These will taste bad.” Since they tend to equate healthy with lack of flavor. Certainly if you are an adept cook, this may never happen with your kids. Better yet, moms who eat a variety of foods while pregnant will prime their kids for a more sophisticated and varied palate. But for the rest of the folks who battle their kids to eat veggies at dinner, it’s better to tell them the food is palatable than healthy. Read on for more phrases that may be doing your parenting in: